Fact: Canadians do not have any internal organs. They actually have very soft stuffing. This is because it makes them nicer to cuddle and also if someone wishes to punch them, their soft stuffing won’t hurt their attackers hands.
yes this is true i am canadian 100% fact
We’re proudly Canadian :) #canada #zetabetapsi #zeta #greekletters #craftmyletters @craftmyletters #flag #canadian #pride
Post with 2 notes
It’s the most pointless holiday of the year…
(Sung to “It’s the most wonderful day of the year..”)
Anywho, it is BC’s first OFFICIAL Family Day…aka the most pointless holiday that exists.
BUT I don’t have school. So if you want me, I’ll be lying in my bed all day…
YAY FAMILY DAY
I like how America is freaking out like “AHHH SAME SEX MARRIAGE AHH TAXED HEALTH CARE OMG AHHHHHH!!! THE WORLD WILL BURN!!” and literally right next to them is their most similar country doing perfect with both of those things like it’s a no-brainer.
what the hell is that beaver doing
quietly reveling in its stable economy.
I found a book of Canadian Trivia I got in one of those Scholastic book orders when I was kid and here’s some of my favourite shit from it
- Every day Canadians eat about 60 million slices of bread
- Moose were once used in Edmonton, my hometown, to haul mail
- Around 200,000 people in Montreal have leases that expire on June 30 and that sounds like a fun little coincidence until you realize that this means that the city becomes overrun by around 200,000 people all moving on the same day
- There’s a golf course outside of Justin Bieber’s hometown that rents out llamas as caddies
- There’s a special type of hat made in Canada that comes with its own instruction manual and is apparently so durable that other than needing some serious washing, one guy found it in perfect condition after being eaten by an elephant three times
- When New France was first founded, they had an 8-strike law against profanity after which your tongue would be cut out
- 200 years ago we burned the god damn White House down (I already knew that one)
- In the various legislatures, there are different rules regarding what you can and cannot call another member of that governing body - in Alberta, they have a specific rule against “fat wingless duck”
- In 1965, the Ministry of Education in Quebec installed a computer to mark their Grade 11 provincial exams and it proceeded to fuck up all 7000 of them
Photo with 15 notes
I find this to be very accurate of our country :)
Happy [Early] Canada Day everyone :)
BRITISH VERSION OF THIS:
1. BOIL THE KETTLE - IF YOU HAVE TO USE A STOVE OR MICROWAVE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE
2. USE ANY WATER IN EXISTENCE - FUCK FILTERING THAT SHIT YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE YOUR SHOW IS BACK ON IN 5 MINUTES PRESS A
3. THROW WHATEVER THE HELL TEABAG YOU HAVE IN THERE - FUCK LOOSE TEA THAT IS FOR WHEN YOU ORDER TEA OUTSIDE
4. USE YOUR STIRRING TEABAG METHOD OF CHOICE, ADD SUGAR/SWEETENER LIKE A BOSS OR NOT IF YOU ARE A HEALTHY BOSS
5. GRUMBLE LIKE A FISHERMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE KETTLE AREA TO GO TO THE FRIDGE TO GET MILK AND BACK TO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU ADD IT
6. RUN BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING, TAKE A COMFORT SIP AND THEN EITHER FINISH IT OR FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOAN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET IT GO COLD
****EDIT: IF YOU CAN’T SPOT IF NOT FROM THIS ALONE THEN THE NATURE OF MY TUMBLR THAT I’M NOT MAKING A DIG AT HER COMIC SIMPLY POINTING OUT HOW LAZY WE ARE OVER HERE WITH TEA THEN GET OFF THE INTERNET. THE COMIC COVERS ALL TEA OPTIONS. COME AT ME BRO.
THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION
JUST GET THE BLOODY BILLY ON THE FIRE AND THROW IN A FISTFUL OF TEA FOR EACH BUGGER AFTER THE WATER BOILS
TAKE OFF FIRE
WAIT UNTIL IT REACHES DESIRED STRENGTH
CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING A SPOON STOOD UPRIGHT IN IT IS IDEAL
WHACK BILLY TO ENCOURAGE SINKING OF TEA LEAVES
POUR IT OUT
ADD AS MUCH MILK AND SUGAR AS YOU LIKE OR NOT AT ALL
VEGEMITE IS ACCEPTABLE
DRINK IT DOWN WHILE RIDING OFF INTO THE OUTBACK ON YOUR BIG RED KANGAROO ON A SADDLE MADE OF DROPBEAR PELTS, WITH YOUR TRUSTY BRUMBY PACKING ALONG YOUR SWAG AND A DINGO BY YOUR SIDE
WHAT IS ENGLAND DOING?
OK NOW COPY THAT SHIT AND JUST CHANGE A FEW THINGS
NO PUSSY REAL “TEAWARE”, WE HAVE NORMAL COFFEE MUGS FOR THAT SHIT.
USE WHATEVER APPLIANCE YOU WANT TO HEAT THE DAMN WATER, YEAH WE SIGNED OUR FUCKING FREEDOM. NO ONE SAID IT WAS MANDATORY FOR KETTLES!
SIT LIKE A CLASSY MAN/WOMAN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL
EAT SOME BACON
THROW A TEABAG IN THERE, LOOSE TEA IS FOR MY MONARCHIST AUNT.
DUMP SO MUCH SUGAR IN IT THAT YOU GET DIABETES AND SO MUCH MILK THAT YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MILK THE COW, BETSY.
TAKE A SIP.
SCALD YOURSELF AND ALMOST DROP MUG, SPILLING IT DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR BACK IN THE PROCESS.
REALIZE TEA ISN’T TOO MUCH OF YOUR THING AND GO BACK TO COFFEE.
FIND A CUP(?) (ANY CLEAN, CUP-LIKE INSTRUMENT WILL WORK)
FILL IT WITH TAP WATER
ADD FIVE SPOONFULS OF INSTANT ICED TEA POWDER
STIR THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU SPILL SOME ON THE COUNTER, LET GO OF THE SPOON SO YOU CAN WATCH IT SPIN
DRINK IT AND CHOKE BECAUSE IT’S TOO SWEET
POUR SOME INTO THE SINK AND ADD WATER IN HOPES THAT IT WILL TASTE ACCEPTABLE
REPEAT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT
ADD ICE CUBES AND A STRAW TO ENHANCE CLASSINESS
FUCK THE KETTLE, JUST TAKE THE PAIL FROM THE SAUNA
IF THE WATER ISN’T BOILING, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG
TOSS THE BIRCH VIHTA IN THE WATER AND LET IT SEEP FOR A WHILE
GET A BOTTLE OF VODKA
DRINK THE VODKA
FORGET THE “TEA” UNTIL IT COOLS DOWN
RINSE YOUR NAKED BODY WITH THE BIRCH TEA
GO ROLL IN THE SNOW AND SCREAM FOR YOUR ANCIENT GODS
BOIL WATER IN ELECTRIC KETTLE
TAKE OUT INSTANT COFFEE
…WHAT DO YOU MEAN “TEA”?
GET A POT AND PUT SOME WATER AND A BUNCH OF TEA BAGS IN THAT SONOFABITCH
BOIL THAT SHIT
PUT THAT SHIT IN A PITCHER
KEEP ADDING SUGAR
NO, YOU’RE NOT DONE YET
WHEN THE SUGAR HAS REACHED ITS SATURATION POINT AND IS NO LONGER ACTUALLY DISSOLVING IN BOILING WATER THEN YOU’RE DONE
(i am not making this up i know people who make it that way)
FILL THE REST OF THAT SHIT UP WITH WATER AND PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ICEBOX
ENJOY THAT SHIT WITH A NICE TASTY PLATE OF DEEP-FRIED THINGS
How To Make Tea. In multiple countries.
YOU’RE WELCOME, TUMBLR.
Obama knows how to make an entrance and an exit.
If we had a president..I would want Obama.
Can he be our Prime Minister?!